Wondrous Attraction

 I whispered the words softly to hear his deep, crackly voice through the vocal cloud. His stiff sleeve rubbed my arm and leathery, sausage-like fingers squeezed tightly around mine to seize my attention. Smiling eyes shifted to meet mine and then closed. I let my gaze linger upon his saline-moistened face nodding up and down, as if he were envisioning the emblem on that hill far away.

Over a fierce game of Canasta, homemade mashed potatoes and fried chicken lingered on our senses as Tennessee Ernie Ford serenaded, “Jesus suffered and died, to pardon and sanctify me.”

Though far from grasping the essence of meaning for myself, when the tune of the Old Rugged Cross swayed in the air, I felt him cling to every word. The Old Rugged Cross held a wondrous attraction for him. Child-like curiosity forced me to wonder why he cherished like a lost treasure what the world despised.

From the backseat of the Grand Marquis, I heard the tape rewind for the umteenth time, etching the cost of Calvary on my mind. A world of lost sinners could not wash away the inscription. One day, I would understand why the dear Lamb of God left his glory above to save a lost sinner like me.

Why am I glowing?

“You are just glowing all over.”

Next they ask, “Is there something you have forgotten to tell us? Wink. Wink. What they really mean to ask is, “Is there a new special someone in your life?”

The look on their face when I tell them no paints a picture of disappointment…until I tell them why I am glowing.

It happened again today and it got me thinking: 

Funny how people associate “the glow” with a new found romance. Actually, “the glow” radiates from my fulfillment in a romance with El Shaddai, the all-sufficient one. I am single with no prospects (that I know of) looming even in on the distance horizon. And that’s okay with me.  It’s okay because I have something better and I am choosing to take full advantage of the benefits.

No matter how right he is for me, or how godly, or how compatible we are together, man cannot fill the God-void in my heart. Over my lifetime, I have observed (and experienced) a plethora of relationships from “just friends”  to sixty-plus years married. It’s a fact that only the God of the universe is going to fill the void in my heart because he planned it that way. Elohim made you and me to find satisfaction in him alone.

I am in a relationship fulfills me beyond belief  that will never break up, fizzle out, or end in divorce. 

He sacrificed his life to have me.

His commitment to me will not end.

His covenant will not be broken.

His promises will never fail.

He loves me unconditionally.

He considers me beautiful.

He  looks out for my best interest.

He provides for my simplest and most complex needs.

He doesn’t tire of listening to me.

He never rejects me.

He accepts me when I reject Him.

He is faithful in His love toward me.

His forgiveness never runs out.

He won’t leave me or forsake me.

He picks me up when I fall.

He finds me when I hide.

He is what’s best for me.

There is no one else like him in all the earth.

He romances me beyond my wildest imagination. He surprises me with what I would have wanted if I had His imagination. His love is irresistible and makes me desire more of him. I can’t help but give my life to him and I desperately to display his character so others will want to join in a relationship with Him too. I want my life to represent how wonderful he is.

How can I be so confident in His love, you ask. The reason is Jesus Christ. He was God’s only son; A man like us, who lived on earth, but without sin. He lived a perfect life among imperfect people to teach them God’s love. Then, as the ultimate example, he poured out his life through death on a cross. He died the most horrific and gruesome death ever known to man to pay for the sins of the world. You see God loves us so much that he provided a way for our relationship with Him to be restored completely, forever.

Every person now has a chance to experience the most fulfilling relationship known to man if you accept Christ’s payment for your sins and put your trust in God alone, you can spend eternity getting to know Him. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by committing to a relationship with Him. God paid for your wrongdoings and mine with the sacrifice of His Son. It’s a decision to accept and follow Him into a relationship of complete and lasting fulfillment.

Of course I’m glowing! I’m experiencing the romance of a God who loves me more than any man is capable of here on earth. I am fulfilling my purpose in displaying his complete sufficiency.

Marriage was His idea, so don’t get me wrong; I am not anti-marriage. But, as with everything, the marriage relationship must be in proper submission to the purposes of God, explicit in his word. Marriage was instituted to display God’s love for his church and bring others into that love. He commanded us to be fruitful and multiply.

I still hope that one day I can experience God’s love through a man and use the union of marriage to display him to the world, but even then, God will be the only all-sufficient one to fulfill me completely in a way my earthly husband never will. He will be the one enabling me to respect and honor my earthly husband when he doesn’t deserve it or when I am simply unable.

I haven’t always had this glow of contentment, but I’m thankful that God has wooed me in such a way that my heart is now falling more in love with him who first loved me. The glow is the outflow of that love and affection. So, that’s how I explain "the glow." I pray it will be evident in increasing measures in the years to come.

This is El Shaddai, the “Pourer-forth,” who pours Himself out for His creatures. 

Who's Got Your Back?

Class ended and our minds could not contain our thoughts so Caitlyn and I sat on a bench for two hours discussing the implications of the gospel of grace, wondering what it would look like if we were to place our hope completely in Christ.

We talked about the inner conflict that we experience between hoping in our own efforts verses hoping in Christ alone for results and merit. It is so easy to find ourselves back in an "it all depends on me" mentality that forgets the God of the Universe is backing you.

The discourse continued for the moon and stars to hear every word. We hardly noticed all the passersby during our bench discussion, but one turned our attention toward something profound.

Dr. Hannah walked out of a classroom building with another professor beaming like the moon.  I wondered to myself why he might be smiling. Then he spoke of how brave we were to be out so late.

I asked him if he had a good class and he said, "Oh, I don't know what's good or bad anymore. When I was younger I used to think I knew what was a good class. I am learning as I get older, what I think is good, is really bad and what I think is bad is really good. So, I just let it go. And...I think our minds have a way of forgetting the bad and remembering the good."

I considered what he meant by "just letting it go" to mean that he surrendered the results. And that over the years he realized that the results have little to do with how well class went, but ultimately God using his efforts in spite of him. He walks into class expectant for God to work no matter what and he leaves confident that whether class seemed to go well or not, God is not limited by either.

I understood exactly what he was saying. After a two hour discussion about grace and hope in Christ, his comment couldn't have come at a better time. So I replied in awe, "Wow, Sounds like you trust the Holy Spirit to work with you or in spite of you."

Then I turned to Caitlyn and said, "Wow, that's a professor who models an understanding of grace in his own life."

One Couple's Story: 61 years

"I'm gonna marry that girl!" he thought to himself when she walked out on the front porch, seeing her for the first time. My grandparents were set up on a blind date over 61 years ago by their friend Helen.

Memaw tell always her side of the story by saying, "I thought he was rich because he gave me a box of Whitman's samplers on our first date...I soon found out he was poor as dirt." And then she always adds, "I had to slap him three times on our first date....to see if he was awake." To this day I'm not sure that is true. Besides, you don't have to be around my grandfather long to have a hard time imagining him falling asleep on a first date.

Funny thing...as smitten as he was, he stood her up for the second date! She got a letter saying, "I'm in the army now! Please wait for me..." He enlisted, ready to set sail for Germany.

The entire 18 months she sent letters and homemade chocolate candy hoping for him to return. His comrades used to joke with him saying, "If you don't write her back man, we will! We've got to keep those chocolates coming!!"

They were married at a friend's house on October 20th, 1950. Twenty-one years young and sweetly naive they were finally ready to begin their journey together. My grandfather, a farm boy all his life, watched his father toil tirelessly over his crops year by year. It was far from the life he wanted for himself or his future family.

He spent a year farming tobacco for his pa in order to pay off his debt, then he landed a job working in the produce department in a local grocery store called the A & P. Little did he know that his first job selling produce would set a premise for his life as a salesman...he went on to sell groceries, vacuum cleaners, Pepsi, Lance snack foods, fresh caught fish, and now pecans and homemade pickles from his backyard business.


My grandfather 'retired' from Lance in 1983 and took up commercial fishing. If you know my grandfather, he doesn't do anything halfway. Every morning before sun-up he went to the river to work his nets then he would take his fresh catch to all his regular customers. He was my babysitter as little squirt, so I got to tag along when school was out. People would come out to greet him as soon as he drove up and in turn he treated them as if he'd known them forever; No one is a stranger to my grandfather.


A fishing accident during a northeaster found him clinging to a buoy amidst white caps in the Neuse River. He hugged the buoy and prayed for God to deliver him. The next thing he saw was angels hovering above the water and then a fishing boat coming his way. It was a sure sign to him that God answered his cry for help. Before long, he was back on safe ground giving God all the credit for saving him that day. Later they found his boat capsized along with his coolers of fish. This is a perfect picture of how faith and determination fuels this man's life.



He sold his boat once fishing became too much for his health, but it wasn't long before the "sales itch" returned.  Two commercial pecan-cracking machines arrived and he launched a very small venture called "Marion's Pecan Cracking".

The plan was only to crack local pecans for his customers, but a drought of local pecans that year helped carved a new course for his business. This challenge provoked his innovative genius and led him to the pecan groves of Georgia returning to eastern North Carolina with a trailer load of pecans ready to be cracked, shelled and sold.   Fourteen years later, he is still supplying pecans for people all over the United States from his backyard business.

To this day, he looks forward to the beginning of the busy season in November because he gets to enjoy two of his greatest pleasures: making sales and talking to the wide variety of folks coming to buy his pecans. Many days you'll even find him working after sundown to fill orders for the following day.

Memaw is always right there assisting and supporting him no matter what. Her prize-deserved pickles even wound up being sold right along-side the pecans. As she is to him, her pickles are a wonderful compliment to his pecans.

Over the course of 60 years my grandfather went from being "the produce man" to "the Lance man" to "the fish man" to "the pecan man." I joke with him that he really could sell anything if he tried and he should have gone into business for himself from the beginning. There is no telling where he'd be by now.

My grandfather instilled this work ethic and creativity into me from a young age. He used every teachable moment with me by his side to share these nuggets from his own life:

-Whatever you do, work hard and seek to rise above the challenges. Go above and beyond what is expected. Be dependable and strive for excellence in the mundane even when you think no one is looking...people will notice and more importantly the Lord sees your efforts.

-It is important to dress well and keep your appearance presentable because how you dress speaks of your character. First impression are lasting impressions.
People can be difficult so you can't let them get to you.

-Smile and reach out with enthusiasm and  embrace people for who they are. Ask how their day going.

My grandfather still refers my Memaw as his “best friend” and “sidekick.” They each serve each other in complimentary ways. He praises her endlessly for all her hard work in the kitchen and around the house. She in turn serves him by cooking delicious food , listening, and supporting him in all his adventures. They do not make any major decisions without consulting each other first.  As I've observed their marriage over the years, I notice that and have a committed love that is not emotions-driven. It's based on a covenant they made 61 years ago and it is a healthy reflection of God's love for us in Christ Jesus. The tide of emotions or circumstances does not change the course. Sacrifice is the basis of that kind of commitment and it comes with a  lot of give and take. It is not defined by pulling things your way to benefit self but rather extending yourself to give to the other what they lack. Sadly this is a missing link in my generation.

It is commitment to Christ and each other that "fuels" and "keeps the wheels turning" in their marriage. They are far from just an old married couple doing life together. They still love each other deeply and it shows in the way they interact daily by serving each other and talking about everything....they still flirt with each other (my grandfather mostly)...go on dates together to their favorite 3 restaurants in town (Moore's BBQ, Chic-Fila, and Pizza Hut)...play Canasta together (our family card game) and even though my Memaw is hard to beat, my grandfather won't quit! There is a lot of jesting and laughter that goes on around their table; It's one of my favorite ways to spend time with them.

NYC 2011

 

I spent Labor Day weekend in New York City visiting one of my best friends and college roommate, Bethany Griffith (www.bethanygriffithnews.blogspot.com). We did everything imaginable in the city, but the best part was getting to spend quality time with her. It's hard to believe that we've been friends for over 10 years now!

Central Park

Brooklyn Bridge Park

Cafe Lalo

Cafe Lalo could be named one of my favorite spots in the Upper West Side. This quaint little cafe stars in the hit movie,You've Got Mail starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.

Times Square

 Alice's Tea Cup is an adorable tea room decorated in an Alice in Wonderland theme where they serve tea and scones. Let's just say that 99% occupancy were women!

Bethany, being the amazing friend that she is, also treated me to Sister Act on Broadway for my birthday. Though we were a little late because I was telling time on Central Standard Time!
We had many more wonderful experiences, but that's for another time...

Blissful Arrest

Take me away to 

Prince Edward Island, 
Garden of the Coast.

So I can spend the night in a big wild cherry tree, 

all silvery in the moonlight, on my way 

to Green Gables’ Shore.

Drive me down the peculiar red roads 

and adorning serenity of White Way Delight.

Arrest my senses in fields ofLavender

 and Queen Anne’s Lace.

Luxuriate my palate with oysters, 

clams, and lobster while 

the salty sea breeze captures my breath.

Stroll me along the crimson 
brimmed harbor, discovering giant windmills and 

faded lighthouses set in a background of dark blue.

And spend the evening at Laird’s Hill 

gazing at the red and orange hues, 

melting into the Lake of Shining Waters.

Tuck me in at the white farmhouse 

with a faded green roof.

Ironic Destiny

InTheGangOfPharisees                                                      

  Killed Christians

BlindedByTheLight

    Changed            

OneTwoThreeFourFive     

years   behind   bars     

         

    Martyrd         

BytheGangOfPharisees      

    Tasting                             

TheIrony of it all

NowIfTheyCouldTalk    

    I wonder       

WhatWouldTheySayToPaul?