Sobering Realities

“Humility is the only soil where grace can take root; the lack of humility is the sufficient explanation of every defect and failure. Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone assumes the right attitude before God and allows Him as God to do all.” –Andrew Murray

“There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion Him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench his determination to bless me.” –J.I. Packer

These quotes represent some of what I’ve been learning recently. I just finished reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer and another book called Humility by Andrew Murray. They are two phenomenal perspectives on the character of God as it relates to humankind. I also listened to the sermon John Piper gave at my church last Sunday...all to say, it's been a rich, but intense time of learning. Much sin exposure, resulting in much humility! As hard as I put forth effort to treasure Christ above all (Phil. 3:7-11), as hard I fail to do so. My heart resonates with Paul in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” It has dawned on me that a humbling of my soul to the point of possessing nothing (poverty of spirit) is the only hope I have for true change and acceptance of God's magnificent grace. Still, I need the gospel preached to me everyday.

I find it hard to let go of my striving to become a more qualified servant. My efforts to change are so sincere, yet futile and frustrating at best. He is the only one who has the transforming power to effect change in my life. In fact, He wills to do so. I understand so little of His unconditional love; It baffles me to think how unlovely I feel with only a small portion of my sin exposed. Imagine the sight from His perspective; He knows all from beginning to end. He reached out to me in the stark knowledge of all the wickedness about me and chose to love me with the promise of making me like His son.

The increasing exposure of my sin is sobering me to the fact that I have absolutely nothing to offer Him apart from the grace that He bestows. It is as true as it was when He first ripped me out of darkness. This humbling of my soul is my hope for change! The point at which He exposes sin in our lives, is the point which we can more fully grasp the concept of His love! As dirty and unworthy as we are, He loves us because of Christ's humility, manifested in obedience, through His death on the cross (Phil. 2:4-8).

Ephesians 2:4 says it best: “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved...and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God.”

There is so much more to say, but my hope is that these words will serve to encourage you with the hope that His plan is so much bigger than ours. Romans 8:28-30 shares His heart to work all things for good in our lives for the greater purpose of conforming us to Christ! He is the author and perfector of our faith and only in Him can we find acceptance and hope for change!


Now “Man’s chief care, his highest virtue, his only happiness, now and throughout eternity, is to present himself as an empty vessel in which God can dwell and manifest His power and goodness.” –Andrew Murray

"Aggressive Usurpers"

There is a book that resides on my shelf for periodic re-reading and reflection. The passionate heart of the author reveals a pure devotion to Christ, of which I am most envious. A.W. Tozer’s quiet humility in his book, “The Pursuit of God”, reflects the heart of one experienced in true unadulterated communion with God through the crucible of personal trials. The most striking chapter in the book was chapter 2, The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing. It begins with a quote from Mathew 5:3 which says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” This chapter goes on to describe the ways in which fallen man is perverting the gifts of God and consequently ruining the soul of its purest devotion to Christ. These external things man is using to fill the soul are taking over the throne where God belongs, causing extreme turmoil within.

This quote by Tozer sums it up pretty well: “ Men have now by nature no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned their no longer, but there in the moral dusk, stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight amongst themselves for first place on the throne.” His gifts have taken His place in our hearts and have caused terrible spiritual trouble!"

The story of Abraham and Isaac is illustrated to prove this point further. Abraham has finally been given a son after years of waiting on the Lord. Finally, he is a father yet God sees that his heart is becoming idolatrous in his love for Isaac and asks him to give Isaac as a sacrifice. Abraham obeys God and trusts that God will raise Isaac up on the altar. God loves Abraham and wants to keep him from an idolatrous love that will ruin his life. The gift of his son Isaac was never meant to become the sole source of satisfaction. Ultimately for us all, God desires to correct the perversion that exists in our love so that our hearts can be satisfied in Him alone. He is jealous for our whole-hearted, love and affection. Indeed, He is most worthy to receive it as well!

Mathew 16:24-35 explains the cost of true discipleship. The one who loses his life for the sake of Christ will gain life for his soul. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” This paradox is apparent in the Christian life in how we try to save ourselves through possessing and attaining and yet our souls wither away for lack of true nourishment. In order to truly save our life for eternity, we must learn denial of temporal things that suppress our hunger for God. He is the object of true satisfaction and nourishment for our soul. All else proves to suffocate our desires for Him and ultimately stifles our joy and fulfillment in life. We were created to love Him with our foremost devotion to bring glory to His name!

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God…” -Psalm 42:1-2