Pinnacle of Joy

One of the greatest joys of this Christmas was receiving an unexpected message from a girl I haven't seen or heard from since college (7 years). Back then, I was a relatively new believer, learning how to be intentional with sharing my faith. It was a pivotal point in my life when God was beginning to develop in me a mindset for life-long ministry. Samm Bridgforth Poteat poured her life into me all four years of college, lovingly challenging me to give away what I had so graciously been given. Trembling in our boots, courageously so, my best friend and I moved to Scott Hall (the scary party dorm) our junior year with the specific purpose of sharing Christ. It was a hard year of ministry in many ways and we didn't end that year feeling very successful. Keia's testimony (see below) speaks of God's power working through weak, but willing vessels. She was one of the girls I developed a relationship with that year. I loved her dearly but honestly felt discouraged by the unapparent fruits of our labor!
One of the greatest memories I have with her is driving her home to Eastern N.C. from Atlanta, G.A. in the snowstorm of the century! That was a real bonding experience! Remember that Keia?!
I asked her permission to share it with you in hopes that it might encourage you to keep loving, keep sharing, and keep trusting God for the harvest! He may be working through your greatest weakness or insecurity. Whatever you do, don't give up or hold back!

"And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling. And my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the spirit and power that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God." I Corinthians 2:4-5

"Hey Heather I know that it has been a long time since I talked to you. I also know that the last time we talked I was so lost in the world and spinning out of control but my life is nothing like that now. Back then if someone was to ask me what the center of my life was, I would have answered," Sports, having fun, drinking, and spending time with guys who only wanted one thing from me." I was so lost then but I want you to know that I now thank God for placing me in that room on Scott Hall so that I would be able to meet you. I want you to know that the things that you told me all those years ago has stuck with me. Now if someone was to ask me what the center of my life is, I would answer with one word, "Christ." So I just wanted to take the time to say thanks for assisting me in making the greatest change in my life. It took me a long time to get to this point but I have made it and some of that has to do with you and others from Campus Outreach. Thank you for planting the seed in me and I want you to know that the seed has been firmly planted in me and I am living my life for Him.
So Thanks again and Merry Christmas to you and your family."
-Keia 

"And the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." 1 Timothy 1: 16-19

"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building." I Corinthians 3:7-9

Greatest Mercy

Joni Eareckson Tada who has spent the last 41 years in a wheel chair, prays, “Oh, thank you, thank you for this wheel chair! By tasting hell in this life, I’ve been driven to think seriously about what faces me in the next. This paralysis is my greatest mercy” (Christianity Today, January, 2004, 50).

I may never know the "hell" of living in a wheelchair, but may I count the portion of "hell" given me here on earth as my greatest mercy, that I might consider my heavenly home more than this one! A seriously challenging thought to ponder!

^"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."  Romans 8:17-19

Sobering Realities

“Humility is the only soil where grace can take root; the lack of humility is the sufficient explanation of every defect and failure. Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone assumes the right attitude before God and allows Him as God to do all.” –Andrew Murray

“There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery now can disillusion Him about me, in the way I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench his determination to bless me.” –J.I. Packer

These quotes represent some of what I’ve been learning recently. I just finished reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer and another book called Humility by Andrew Murray. They are two phenomenal perspectives on the character of God as it relates to humankind. I also listened to the sermon John Piper gave at my church last Sunday...all to say, it's been a rich, but intense time of learning. Much sin exposure, resulting in much humility! As hard as I put forth effort to treasure Christ above all (Phil. 3:7-11), as hard I fail to do so. My heart resonates with Paul in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” It has dawned on me that a humbling of my soul to the point of possessing nothing (poverty of spirit) is the only hope I have for true change and acceptance of God's magnificent grace. Still, I need the gospel preached to me everyday.

I find it hard to let go of my striving to become a more qualified servant. My efforts to change are so sincere, yet futile and frustrating at best. He is the only one who has the transforming power to effect change in my life. In fact, He wills to do so. I understand so little of His unconditional love; It baffles me to think how unlovely I feel with only a small portion of my sin exposed. Imagine the sight from His perspective; He knows all from beginning to end. He reached out to me in the stark knowledge of all the wickedness about me and chose to love me with the promise of making me like His son.

The increasing exposure of my sin is sobering me to the fact that I have absolutely nothing to offer Him apart from the grace that He bestows. It is as true as it was when He first ripped me out of darkness. This humbling of my soul is my hope for change! The point at which He exposes sin in our lives, is the point which we can more fully grasp the concept of His love! As dirty and unworthy as we are, He loves us because of Christ's humility, manifested in obedience, through His death on the cross (Phil. 2:4-8).

Ephesians 2:4 says it best: “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved...and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God.”

There is so much more to say, but my hope is that these words will serve to encourage you with the hope that His plan is so much bigger than ours. Romans 8:28-30 shares His heart to work all things for good in our lives for the greater purpose of conforming us to Christ! He is the author and perfector of our faith and only in Him can we find acceptance and hope for change!


Now “Man’s chief care, his highest virtue, his only happiness, now and throughout eternity, is to present himself as an empty vessel in which God can dwell and manifest His power and goodness.” –Andrew Murray

"Aggressive Usurpers"

There is a book that resides on my shelf for periodic re-reading and reflection. The passionate heart of the author reveals a pure devotion to Christ, of which I am most envious. A.W. Tozer’s quiet humility in his book, “The Pursuit of God”, reflects the heart of one experienced in true unadulterated communion with God through the crucible of personal trials. The most striking chapter in the book was chapter 2, The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing. It begins with a quote from Mathew 5:3 which says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” This chapter goes on to describe the ways in which fallen man is perverting the gifts of God and consequently ruining the soul of its purest devotion to Christ. These external things man is using to fill the soul are taking over the throne where God belongs, causing extreme turmoil within.

This quote by Tozer sums it up pretty well: “ Men have now by nature no peace within their hearts, for God is crowned their no longer, but there in the moral dusk, stubborn and aggressive usurpers fight amongst themselves for first place on the throne.” His gifts have taken His place in our hearts and have caused terrible spiritual trouble!"

The story of Abraham and Isaac is illustrated to prove this point further. Abraham has finally been given a son after years of waiting on the Lord. Finally, he is a father yet God sees that his heart is becoming idolatrous in his love for Isaac and asks him to give Isaac as a sacrifice. Abraham obeys God and trusts that God will raise Isaac up on the altar. God loves Abraham and wants to keep him from an idolatrous love that will ruin his life. The gift of his son Isaac was never meant to become the sole source of satisfaction. Ultimately for us all, God desires to correct the perversion that exists in our love so that our hearts can be satisfied in Him alone. He is jealous for our whole-hearted, love and affection. Indeed, He is most worthy to receive it as well!

Mathew 16:24-35 explains the cost of true discipleship. The one who loses his life for the sake of Christ will gain life for his soul. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” This paradox is apparent in the Christian life in how we try to save ourselves through possessing and attaining and yet our souls wither away for lack of true nourishment. In order to truly save our life for eternity, we must learn denial of temporal things that suppress our hunger for God. He is the object of true satisfaction and nourishment for our soul. All else proves to suffocate our desires for Him and ultimately stifles our joy and fulfillment in life. We were created to love Him with our foremost devotion to bring glory to His name!

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God…” -Psalm 42:1-2

Special Recipe

Fall break is here! It's a time to catch up on studies and spend time doing things that get crowded out during the semester. Although it is called a "break", really it is catch up time for all the work that has piled up and soon approaching its due date! I have determined, though, to have a little fun and let that be my motivation for working hard! One thing I love is cooking, especially for people I love in the ways that they enjoy! Becca and I have been talking about eating a southern meal ever since the beginning of the semester, but our schedules just haven't allowed it to happen. So, last night I promised her that I would make my grandmother's famous fried chicken recipe. Normally, I am not a fried-chicken kind of girl, but this is well worth all the health defeating properties!

This blog entry is dedicated to my grandmother, who I have called "Memaw" from my earliest days of speech. She is a very special lady, whom I look up to for her strength and devotion to the Lord. Her mantra to me is always, "Take one day at a time and trust in the Lord! (Proverbs 3:5-6)" Aside from her Christ-like character, she is an amazing cook! I have idolized her in this way since I was a small girl, standing by her side with the utmost curiosity. When I called her last night to let her know that I was making her special recipe, I could see her face light up through the phone! She is one of the primary reasons that I spend time writing these blog entries. Her joy is made full as she reads and re-reads the stories from my life. Only a grandmother's love! So, I dedicate this one in particular to her! Thanks Memaw for allowing me to learn from you! I hope it will impact generations to come!

I'm also thankful for my roommate Rebecca! God has given us a very special friendship and I find it a joy to love and serve her as she does me everyday! Our home is a refuge from the storms of life and work in the world around us. We find spontaneous laughter to be one of the greatest sources of refreshment to our weary souls! It helps remind us not to take ourselves SO seriously all the time!
Life is so crazy in our coming and going throughout the semester that we don't often get these unhindered moments together! So fun to have a kindred spirit around!

Joyous moment

While I was exercising at White Rock Lake Park this morning, I watched a guy catch a fish on his second cast! Joy exploded in me just watching him light up! What a fabulous way to begin the day! I couldn't help but shout in celebration over his success!
That, along with the beautiful sunrise over the water, was a gracious gift of God after a night of sleeplessness. So thankful for these reminders that He is ever aware of what our heart desires! It all points back to Him!

No Frills

I will simply submit the highlights this week for the sake of time. We are at that point in the semester when everything seems due at once. On top of that, my job situation is everything but dependable at the moment. In spite of the swirling chaos around me though, I feel an overwhelming peace that God is in control. There is always enough grace to sustain me in the present moment. My imagination is what gets me into trouble sometimes!

Anyways, here goes some highlights from my week:



Helmet fun with my two year old class at NW Bible Church! This little boy was insistent that I wear this helmet while we worked on crafts together! I couldn't resist! Looks like we are ready to ride! Vrrrm...Vrrrm!!!




This is where I camped out all weekend working on a research paper for one of my biblical counseling courses. It was grueling, but we made sure to take a few good study breaks! My roommate and I checked out so many library books, a classmate called and ask to borrow some. Apparently, we took most of the books on developmental theories!


Friday night we "breaked" for a pumpkin party with friends! The party was hosted by Laura and Katherine, two of the most hospitable gals I know! They planned for marsh mellow roasting and pumpkin carving too, but we were all too engrossed in conversation and making s'mores! The pumpkins came home un-carved.