"I'm gonna marry that girl!" he thought to himself when she walked out on the front porch, seeing her for the first time. My grandparents were set up on a blind date over 61 years ago by their friend Helen.
Memaw tell always her side of the story by saying, "I thought he was rich because he gave me a box of Whitman's samplers on our first date...I soon found out he was poor as dirt." And then she always adds, "I had to slap him three times on our first date....to see if he was awake." To this day I'm not sure that is true. Besides, you don't have to be around my grandfather long to have a hard time imagining him falling asleep on a first date.
Funny thing...as smitten as he was, he stood her up for the second date! She got a letter saying, "I'm in the army now! Please wait for me..." He enlisted, ready to set sail for Germany.
The entire 18 months she sent letters and homemade chocolate candy hoping for him to return. His comrades used to joke with him saying, "If you don't write her back man, we will! We've got to keep those chocolates coming!!"
They were married at a friend's house on October 20th, 1950. Twenty-one years young and sweetly naive they were finally ready to begin their journey together. My grandfather, a farm boy all his life, watched his father toil tirelessly over his crops year by year. It was far from the life he wanted for himself or his future family.
He spent a year farming tobacco for his pa in order to pay off his debt, then he landed a job working in the produce department in a local grocery store called the A & P. Little did he know that his first job selling produce would set a premise for his life as a salesman...he went on to sell groceries, vacuum cleaners, Pepsi, Lance snack foods, fresh caught fish, and now pecans and homemade pickles from his backyard business.
My grandfather 'retired' from Lance in 1983 and took up commercial fishing. If you know my grandfather, he doesn't do anything halfway. Every morning before sun-up he went to the river to work his nets then he would take his fresh catch to all his regular customers. He was my babysitter as little squirt, so I got to tag along when school was out. People would come out to greet him as soon as he drove up and in turn he treated them as if he'd known them forever; No one is a stranger to my grandfather.
A fishing accident during a northeaster found him clinging to a buoy amidst white caps in the Neuse River. He hugged the buoy and prayed for God to deliver him. The next thing he saw was angels hovering above the water and then a fishing boat coming his way. It was a sure sign to him that God answered his cry for help. Before long, he was back on safe ground giving God all the credit for saving him that day. Later they found his boat capsized along with his coolers of fish. This is a perfect picture of how faith and determination fuels this man's life.
He sold his boat once fishing became too much for his health, but it wasn't long before the "sales itch" returned. Two commercial pecan-cracking machines arrived and he launched a very small venture called "Marion's Pecan Cracking".
The plan was only to crack local pecans for his customers, but a drought of local pecans that year helped carved a new course for his business. This challenge provoked his innovative genius and led him to the pecan groves of Georgia returning to eastern North Carolina with a trailer load of pecans ready to be cracked, shelled and sold. Fourteen years later, he is still supplying pecans for people all over the United States from his backyard business.
To this day, he looks forward to the beginning of the busy season in November because he gets to enjoy two of his greatest pleasures: making sales and talking to the wide variety of folks coming to buy his pecans. Many days you'll even find him working after sundown to fill orders for the following day.
Memaw is always right there assisting and supporting him no matter what. Her prize-deserved pickles even wound up being sold right along-side the pecans. As she is to him, her pickles are a wonderful compliment to his pecans.
Over the course of 60 years my grandfather went from being "the produce man" to "the Lance man" to "the fish man" to "the pecan man." I joke with him that he really could sell anything if he tried and he should have gone into business for himself from the beginning. There is no telling where he'd be by now.
My grandfather instilled this work ethic and creativity into me from a young age. He used every teachable moment with me by his side to share these nuggets from his own life:
-Whatever you do, work hard and seek to rise above the challenges. Go above and beyond what is expected. Be dependable and strive for excellence in the mundane even when you think no one is looking...people will notice and more importantly the Lord sees your efforts.
-It is important to dress well and keep your appearance presentable because how you dress speaks of your character. First impression are lasting impressions.
People can be difficult so you can't let them get to you.
-Smile and reach out with enthusiasm and embrace people for who they are. Ask how their day going.
My grandfather still refers my Memaw as his “best friend” and “sidekick.” They each serve each other in complimentary ways. He praises her endlessly for all her hard work in the kitchen and around the house. She in turn serves him by cooking delicious food , listening, and supporting him in all his adventures. They do not make any major decisions without consulting each other first. As I've observed their marriage over the years, I notice that and have a committed love that is not emotions-driven. It's based on a covenant they made 61 years ago and it is a healthy reflection of God's love for us in Christ Jesus. The tide of emotions or circumstances does not change the course. Sacrifice is the basis of that kind of commitment and it comes with a lot of give and take. It is not defined by pulling things your way to benefit self but rather extending yourself to give to the other what they lack. Sadly this is a missing link in my generation.
It is commitment to Christ and each other that "fuels" and "keeps the wheels turning" in their marriage. They are far from just an old married couple doing life together. They still love each other deeply and it shows in the way they interact daily by serving each other and talking about everything....they still flirt with each other (my grandfather mostly)...go on dates together to their favorite 3 restaurants in town (Moore's BBQ, Chic-Fila, and Pizza Hut)...play Canasta together (our family card game) and even though my Memaw is hard to beat, my grandfather won't quit! There is a lot of jesting and laughter that goes on around their table; It's one of my favorite ways to spend time with them.
