We talked about the inner conflict that we experience between hoping in our own efforts verses hoping in Christ alone for results and merit. It is so easy to find ourselves back in an "it all depends on me" mentality that forgets the God of the Universe is backing you.
The discourse continued for the moon and stars to hear every word. We hardly noticed all the passersby during our bench discussion, but one turned our attention toward something profound.
Dr. Hannah walked out of a classroom building with another professor beaming like the moon. I wondered to myself why he might be smiling. Then he spoke of how brave we were to be out so late.
I asked him if he had a good class and he said, "Oh, I don't know what's good or bad anymore. When I was younger I used to think I knew what was a good class. I am learning as I get older, what I think is good, is really bad and what I think is bad is really good. So, I just let it go. And...I think our minds have a way of forgetting the bad and remembering the good."
I considered what he meant by "just letting it go" to mean that he surrendered the results. And that over the years he realized that the results have little to do with how well class went, but ultimately God using his efforts in spite of him. He walks into class expectant for God to work no matter what and he leaves confident that whether class seemed to go well or not, God is not limited by either.
I understood exactly what he was saying. After a two hour discussion about grace and hope in Christ, his comment couldn't have come at a better time. So I replied in awe, "Wow, Sounds like you trust the Holy Spirit to work with you or in spite of you."
Then I turned to Caitlyn and said, "Wow, that's a professor who models an understanding of grace in his own life."
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