Impossible! Unless...

I love to hear about far-reaching dreams that become reality with God's creative touch and a steadfast perseverance of faith. I recently took time to read through some of my own journals of which are filled with pleadings that at the time seemed far from reach. One of my favorite things to do is go back and highlight all the requests that have since been answered, sometimes making notes as to how and when. This not only encourages me, but gives great hope for future plans that have yet to unfold. I do WANT to see the Lord do great things, but often I lack faith to pray it through.

One of my most memorable prayers answered is the one I prayed after meeting with the recruiter for English teachers to go to China. At the time, a senior in college, desiring to find God's will for my life in ministry, but not with intentions of moving overseas...much less to China! My simple challenge to the Lord  for Him to change my heart was this: "Lord, if you want me to go to China, do the impossible and get me excited about it!". I couldn't imagine what the next year would hold if he actually answered that prayer. There were too many obstacles in my mind! Now, I find that laughable because the one year commitment turned into four! He did indeed get me excited about China, though most of that excitement did not come in the method or timing that I expected! Even as my plane was leaving American soil, I thought to myself, "What am I doing?". My actual leaving was in faith. It wasn't until after I got to China that the desires of my heart really changed. As I spent countless hours pouring over lesson plans for my students, really struggling with feeling inadequate for the task, I noticed my heart begin to change when scores of students lined up after class with curious questions about my life in the West. This was only the beginning of what culminated in and through me.


Not only did He take me to China, He used China to transform my heart, which then had a ripple effect in my friends and family's lives! To be honest, at first I did not have a "heart" for overseas much less Chinese people. It took my going there and experiencing it firsthand in order to even understand why I should care about these people and why God cared! It was hard and humbling! There are countless stories like mine of people going overseas thinking they have something to contribute and finding out they have only begun learning for themselves what the gospel actually means. Then, it can be fleshed out. The heart can only overflow what has been poured in by the Lord. Personally I had nothing to boast in, except my participation in the gospel of grace.

Faye was one of the faces God used to change me.

I guess my point is, don't be afraid to dream larger than yourself! Honestly I lose sleep over this sometimes because it's so exciting and scary! Just the other night I tossed and turned with this phrase running through my mind, "Don't be afraid to dream bigger than I can... or I will... Instead dream, I can't..., but God can if He wills!" It might be obvious, but lately God has renewed my desire to live beyond what I think I can do so that His power is shown more mightily through me. I love to dream things that are doomed to fail unless God intervenes. Then I get to brag on Him to everyone about how He saved the day!
My faith is small so I need a lot of encouragement to keep going, especially when I don't see tangible success. God is patient though, and His grace is bigger than my apparent weakness. When I need encouragement to keep pursuing these 'impossible' dreams that I believe God has placed in me, I find old prayer journals or a missionary biography to read; They are testaments to His faithfulness past and that I cannot exhaust the provision of His resources! The point is keep asking and keep risking in faith  for His glory!